Rhabdoid tumor
by Haribo2012
Summary: Troy and Gabi's three year old daughter Sofia has been diagnose with cancer of the Kidney, Follow the Boltons through the journey as Sofia battles the cancer.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I have post this before but I have made changes to it, hope you like it, please review!

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The doctor came in, flipped the switch on the light board and slipped the film under the clip, I leaned in next to Troy who took my hand with his wrapping his fingers and squeezing it in comfort.

The doctor used his pen to point to a large dark shadow beneath the white outline of Sofia's ribs

"There is it"

Now everything was falling in to place, four weeks ago, on our annual vacation to Orlando , we had to take Sofia to the emergency room, she had been complaining it had hurt to lay down, she ran a slight fever at night. The doctor said she had the flu and sent us away with a packet of Children's Tylenol. Two days later when she was not getting better, we took her to another hospital, the doctor there ordered an x ray to rule out pneumonia, when he tried to examine Sofia's abdomen she screamed saying it hurt too much to lie down.

"There's nothing wrong with her, she's just manipulating you, the doctor told us "she's just a typical two year old who doesn't want to go to sleep"

" How can we be sure it's something more serious" Troy asked somewhat distracted, Sofia and Sara, Sofia's older sister bored with waiting, had stepped outside the room and were now chasing each other in the hall,

The doctor sniffed disapproval at the commotion "Well look at her" the doctor said"She has too much energy to be sick, A sick child would be listless and lethargic, would run a fever all day and not at night. If you want to an make apportionment with your doctor when you get home, but as far as I can see, she's fine."

I felt confused and embarrassed by the doctor's word. Every bone in my body was telling me something wrong, and yet maybe the doctor was right, maybe I was just an inadequate of an overindulged child Escorting our two unruly children past the other sick children felt guilty for having wasted the doctor's valuable time.

Now looking at the X-ray, then looking at Troy we both felt the same: that we had failed Why hadn't we trusted ourselves more? The doctors knew the symptoms of illness, Me and Troy knew Sofia. We should had insisted that the doctor's explanation of Sofia's behaviour didn't match what we knew to be true for her. Sofia had no interest in playing games to get what she wanted: she would asked for it directly, Even with Sofia's unusual symptoms surely there were signs of something more than manipulative behaviour!

As the doctor peeled the film from the light board, Me and Troy knew one thing: that we were going to start speaking up before it was too late for Sofia

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Until next Time

PLEASE REVIEW!

HARIBO X

Ps Many of you were wondering what happened to my other story-

I deleted it by accident! The computer crash as I was sorting out and some reason is not letting me add it again

If anyone wants to read whatever chapter. PM me and I will send you the chapter you want to read


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Hope you are enjoying it.

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I struggled to wake up from a dense dreamless sleep, my alarm clock was beeping reaching for the off button my arm brush against a cold metal rail, my eyes flew open, the beep was not coming from the alarm clock it was coming from the pump of an IV.

I sat up slowly as if I had passed through and landed in some alerted state of reality like I was on Back to the future. I could hear the whoosh of the pain medication pushing through the tiny vein in Sofia's hand, and because of it she was sleeping for the first time in weeks, Sofia was curled up on her side her skin looked pale I ran my fingers across her face, rearranging the blankets I smiled to see her white shoes were still on her feet , ever since we brought them two days ago she had refused to take them off.

I couldn't remember if I had lived a day as never ending as this, after more than nine hours of test , questions and emanations, the doctors had finally moved Sofia on the paediatric ward.

I glanced around wondering what the time was the light coming through the blinds were early morning grey, but the noises in the hall suggested it was later than I thought. A young woman strode purposefully into the room carrying a tray, she set down the tray and lifted up the top, to reveal our breakfast, colourless oatmeal, scrambled eggs and cold toast.

The first day of meals is the worst she said apologetically " because you were not here yesterday to choose we have to give you what is left over. Tomorrow menu is under the plate and circle what you want. I will be back in a while to pick it up."

She turned to leave, squeezing through a crowd of white- coated residents, that were standing outside our door, three of them came in each wore a stethoscope and carried a clipboard I eyed the residents suspiciously, one of the things I was beginning to understand about hospitals that you rarely see the same doctor twice. Sofia opened her eyes and sat up, Mummy who are these people?" she asked frowning

One of the residents spoke, we need to examine her it will only take a minute " he said efficiently

"My name is Sofia" Sofia said quietly

"Yes of course " he answered he stepped closer, reaching for his stethoscope as he did the residents in the hall moved in and formed a semicircle round the bed

"STOP!" Sofia yelled the resident with the stethoscope froze ,Sofia turned to me " mummy please tell these people to leave, they aren't my friends, they didn't even tell me their names!"

The residents looked at me, I remembered what the doctor in Orlando said : manipulative, overindulged two year old, I realise these doctors might think same thing, I didn't care, if any person in the world who deserved respect it was Sofia

"She right" I tell them

The resident frowned and taped his finger on the clipboard, the other residents continued to watch him

"I have to examine you Sofia" he said finally "Will you let me if I tell you my name?"

Sofia narrowed her eyes at him "Okay" she said finally " but these people have to leave"

He nodded. The others turned and left the room, when the last person left the resident raised his stethoscope and leaned over, Sofia stopped him

"What is your name?" she asked

"Dr York"

"Nooo your real name" she said totally exasperated

"Jack" he replied grinning from ear to ear

" Ohh Dr Jack that is a nice name" she settling back on the pillow

Dr Jack must spread the word because from that day on, no more than three residents entered the room and everyone who did introduced to themselves to her using their _real _names

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Until next time

PLEASE REVIEW!

Hariboo xxx


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Many of you are asking what happened to my story Letters from the Front line, it crashed and got deleted couple of my other stories got deleted as well I am still trying to put it back up,If want a chapter or anything just click on my profile and my e-mail should be there copy it and paste it in your inbox and send me an email!

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Sara was curled up on my lap, our armchairs touching the side of Sofia's bed. Sofia was watching us from the bed propped up against the piles of pillow. A plastic line run from her arm to an IV pole she had spread her pink blanket over her legs and was wearing rhinestone crown and her pink PJs

I cleared my throat. The weight of the moment crushed against my chest

"Sofia, the doctors have figured out why you are feeling so sick. There is a lump in your tummy called a tumour. A tumour happens sometimes when a few of the cells in a person's body grown the wrong way. The doctors are going to take it out and give you medicines so that the bad cells do not come back"

"It is going to hurt?" Sofia asked her brow wrinkled and her lips pursed into a worried pout. I paused in past I had often coped with difficult situations by glossing over them and finding something good in them. This time I wanted Sara and Sofia to be able to trust me. I couldn't start lying to them.

" Yes Sofia it will hurt, but the doctors are going to do everything they can do to make sure it doesn't hurt as little as possible. They have special medicines that will make you sleep while they take out the lump out and other medicines that will help your body rest while it gets better.

" I don't want to sleep!" I am not tired!" Sofia protested

" You don't have to sleep now" Sara said gently " Only when they take out the lump out" Right Mum?" she asked turning to me

I smiled and nodded,

"Oh!" that's okay" Sofia sighed sounding relived

"Mum" Sara looked at me eyes filling up with tears " is tumour same thing as cancer?"

I don't know Sara" I said starting to cry "the doctors can't be sure until see it under the microscope "

Sofia was watching us silently

"If is bad news you would tell us right mum? Sara asked

Sofia sat up and looked in to my eyes without blinking,. I took a breath I couldn't help wising that Troy had been able to be here with me, but he had told me that he didn't trust himself to know what to say. I appreciated his honestly and I knew that if ever there was a time when two of us had respected our differences, this was it.

Sara and Sofia were still waiting for my answer.

" Yes Sara" I said "Even if it's bad news I'll will tell you the truth"

Sofia smiled and leaned back into her pillow

" Thanks Mum" Sara said flinging his arms around my neck

"Mummy I love you" Sofia said

"I love you both" was all I could say

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Until next time

PLEASE REVIEW

HARIBO XXX


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Hope you are enjoying this please review!

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There was a flurry of activity in the pre-operating room. Efficient people in official-looking coats were bustling back and forth around us. The huge metal doors of the operating room swung open and shut, the anaesthesiologist appeared

Sofia's body was limped in my lap. Her eyes were open but they rolled lazily round in their sockets. She was wrapped in her pink blanket, wearing nothing but her white sparkly shoes. A hour earlier she had refused to wear a hospital gown " it's not pretty and it doesn't match my shoes" she has said

"How's she doing?" the anaesthesiologist asked

"My shoes" Sofia said weakly

"What she say?" the doctor asked

" Sofia worried that you are going to take of her shoes" Troy explained " she made a deal with the surgeon that she would wear them in surgery"

"Oh I heard about that" the anaesthesiologist said" You must be a very special patient Sofia Dr Carlos gave us specific orders that you will be allowed to wear your white sparkly shoes. I won't forget"

Sofia nodded and closed her eyes and her head dropped against me with a thud I held my breath as long as I could, Sofia didn't move. The operating door open and two nurses wheeled a long gurney covered with white sheet into the room, one of them leaned over gathered Sofia in her arms and lifted her of my lap laying Sofia in the middle of the of the white sheet, the nurse covered the lower half of her body with a hospital blanket.

My eyes studied Sofia to see any signs that she was aware of being taken from us, she didn't flinch, this was the first time in five days that she'd been more than arm length from me. A sob broke out from my chest Troy held me as we watch the nurse push Sofia through the operating room. Troy and I didn't move barley able to believe what was happing. a minute later the doors open again and one of the nurses appeared. She handed us Sofia's shoes "she was completely sedated before we took them off" she said "Make sure the recovery nurse gets them, so we can put them on before she wakes up"

Troy and I were led to waiting room where we sobbed uncontrollably in each other's' arms. As we clung to each other and waited for news from the surgeon Troy and I knew one thing: Our children were more important than anything else either of us would ever do. They were the reason we together and we wanted to have more "Let's get pregnant again soon as we can" Troy said with my head in his shoulders I nodded.

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Troy and I were sitting on plastic chairs in an old supply closet that was posing as a conference room. Dr Griffin and his partner Dr Thaler shuffled through folders papers that were strewn on the table in front of them. They were worked for the children's clinic attach to the hospital and were now officially in charge of Sofia's case. A nurse sat one side with Shelley the clinic social worker, trying desperately to but unsuccessfully appear relaxed. Troy and I held hands and sat so closed together that the legs of our chairs overlapped.

Dr Giffin lifted a long printed sheet from the pile in front of him

" We got the report back from the lab in California" he said looking at me and Troy , Troy squeezed my hands tighter and leaned into me until he was almost sitting on the edge of my chair.

"The news is not as good as we ha hoped. The tumour is cancerous it's called Rhomboid tumour of the kidney. It's malignant, aggressive. And rare but there's still about a twenty percent chace of remission. We've been in touch with a hospital in Chicago that has been treating a girl who was diagnosed fifteen months ago. That's good news, since most patients die within a year".

He paused the room was still. Someone's chair scrapped across the floor, four pair of eyes looked at us. Troy stared straight ahead and said nothing.

As quiet as the room was there was deeper silence in me: my heart had jumped beyond the diagnosis beyond the prognosis beyond treatment _I knew Sofia was going to die and I was not afraid._ I needed to face the truth and make the most of the time we had left, I also knew that when it was time, I wanted her home, to let her go as gently as she could go.

" Dr Griffin when it's clear that Sofia had enough, when she is ready to die, you will help her go?"

Troy turned to look at me, Everyone else did too Dr Griffin studied me, Dr Thaler answer me " You realise don't you that we are not giving up hope that Sofia's cancer can go into remission we intend to do everything to help her" Shelly and the nurse nodded in agreement .

I knew they were probably horrified by my questions; part of me was stunned by it.

Dr Thaler and I were still looking at each other his eyes was soft and sympathetic I felt as though he was looking in my heart.

" I am not willing to give up in the face of this disease" he said finally " I am going to do everything I can do to beat this cancer, but if we are not successful, I am also willing to help you with what you asked"

Waves of relief surged through me: not only had I been able to give voice to my deepest fear but I ha found someone else willing to face the truth with me. If Sofia was going to die, I knew that I wasn't going to be alone in it.

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Until next time

PLEASE REVIEW!

HARIBO XX


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I hope everyone is enjoying this story

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Doctors had gradually decreased the amount of Sofia's sedative and then removed the tube from her throat. Alter all she been through she looked good, although she had lost some weight and her voice was hoarse , Sofia had spent the day laughing talking and taking sips of apple juice and watching a video with Sara. I had even managed to wash Sofia's hair using a plastic bowl and baby shampoo that one of the nurses had found for me. Sofia had insisted that we pull it back into a pink bow.

Now she was about to eat her first solid food in over a week.

"Dinner!" the nurse announced with a flourish lifting the lid on the tray in front of her, to reveal a plate of mashed potatoes cup of jello and a bowl of Chicken broth.

Sofia was not impressed she poked her finger in to the potatoes, then folded her arms across her chest

"No way Cath I am not eating that I want pizza" she said. The nurse smiled

"Sofia, the doctors ordered these food for you because they will be gentle on your throat and tummy, tomorrow you have pizza."

Sofia looked at her for ten seconds the nurse did not move

"Get Dr Jack" Sofia demanded

When Dr Jack arrived the nurse explained the situation Dr Jack tapped his fingers on the clipboard, he looked at Sofia she returned his glazed

"Well" he said finally "I am Italian so I know why Sofia feels the way she does about pizza. if I hadn't eaten in a long time I would want pizza too"

Fifteen minutes later a second tray was delivered, the nurse set it down on the table in front of Sofia. Dr Jack peeked his head into the room and winked at me grinning from ear to ear.

Sofia let out a happy squealed and I saw the reason for Dr Jack grinned

There in middle of tray sat two slices of pizza and a dish of Strawberry ice cream.

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Please review! I love getting them!

I know this is short one but will double post!

Until next time

HARIBO XXX


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Hope still enjoying it please review!

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The two of us were crossing the car park on our way to Sofia's second chemotherapy it was a late afternoon in early October two weeks before her fourth birthday her white shoes tapping on the pavement, she was wearing her princess dress she had refused to get changed after spending the morning playing dress up she was also was carrying her Cinderella lunch box which was packed with orange juice, grapes and soft roll, I held her hand, keeping an eye on the cars that was trying to find a space

"Mummy do children ever die?"

She asked me with the same tone she might have used to asked where babies come from, without a trace of fear or concern on her face, she looked up to me, waiting for my response, I forgot about the cars in the parking lot and the IV equipment that was waiting for us.

I paused before answering I knew what she was really asking: she wasn't asking if children ever die she was asking if I was willing to admit that _she_ might die.

" Yes Sofia children do die, do you know what happens when they die?" I asked

"Uh Uh," she said they go to heaven to be stars and rainbows and keep an eye on everyone here" she gripped my hand tighter and hopped like a bunny on the sidewalk

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I stood in the kitchen and listened to the sounds of laughter that was coming from the other room. I felt so relived, I wanted to cry, in the month since Sofia diagnosis, Me and Troy had looked forward to this day with combination of anxiety and joy hunted by one question: Was this birthday going to be Sofia last birthday? We had agonized over whenever to keep it simple or plan something elaborate just in case she might not have other. When we asked Sofia how she was wanted to celebrate she said "A Cinderella cake not too much gifts not too much people"

"What if you could anything you wanted, like going to see 'Disney on Ice' and inviting all your friends?"

"No mummy I just want A Cinderella cake not too much gifts not too much people"

Rummaging through the drawers for the packet of birthday candles I could hear the children giggling and chattering they were breathless from their backyard treasure hunt that Troy and Sofia had spent all day yesterday setting up. Each of the children were a vision of loveliness wearing bangles, rhinestones crowns, plastic bead necklace, Earlier there has transformed a pile of wooden spoons, ribbons, glitter and glue into magic wands that they were now using to bob each other on the head.

The ordinances of it was a relief from the initial awkwardness, everyone had felt. Upon arriving at the party children had greeted Sofia shyly, it was clear they had been reminded just before coming that Sofia had had surgery and would feel sick. The mothers embraced me with a some sort of shyness, unsure to offer congratulations or condolences.

Sofia had been the one to step into the moment and set us straight

" Hey Guys you want to see my scar? She asked reaching for the hem of her Princess dress

"You mean you can show it to us?" her friend Lily whispered wide eyed

"Of course!" Sofia responded " Is just surgery" she lifted the hem of her dress and tucked it under her chin exposing a whip of angry red still stapled flesh that cut from one side of her abdomen to the other. The kids instinctively curious crowed close and responded with "Ohhhhh!" " Ahhh"

"Does it hurt?" one of the children asked

" Not much" Sofia answered " My doctors gave me medicine and pizza so I got better faster

" Wow I want surgery!" someone said, the other children nodded in agreement

There was a slight pause then Lily asked " Can you still play?"

" Of course silly!" Sofia replied "This is a party right?"

Everyone laughed and the awkward spell has been broken and the party has began.

I finally founded the candles and removed four and slid them on to the cake, I stepped and smiled, this was no bakeshop cake, this was a masterpiece that Sofia and Sara and I created together, on it there was a plastic figure of the Princess in the middle of pink frosting. Here and there were Sofia and Sara's fingers where the pair of them had tested to make sure the frosting tasted the same.

I lit the candles, there wasn't enough candles for a cake or enough years for life. Tears I been holding began to spill, I blinked, I could not cry now, I would ruin the happiness moment of the whole day. Taking a deep breath I plaster a smile on my face I picked up the cake and stepped into the dining room " Happy Birthday to youuu.."the laughter stopped and everyone joined in I maneuverer the cake through an obstacle course of children, balloons and paper streamers so engrossed getting the cake to the table with setting anyone or anything on fire I didn't notice what Sofia was doing when I finally looked, the plasted smile slid off my face.

Unlike everyone around her, Sofia was not smiling she was solemn, quiet almost still, her eyes moved slow to the next person to the next , finally resting on me for a split second I thought something was wrong: she was tired or sad or the excitement was too much for her. Then I realised far from feeling unhappy; Sofia was letting everyone and everything in that moment seep into her heart, s the low off key rendition of happy Birthday came to a stop bright eyes and flushed faces al turned to look at her Sofia smiled slightly taking it all in. Everyone waited, a long silence the other children wriggling impatiently.

" Make a wish Sofia" someone called out

Sofia looked me her eyes burned into my heart, the adults were no longer smiling, the children stopped wriggling everyone was watching Sofia: Sofia was watching me finally with only one whisper of breath Sofia blew out the candles and blew open my heart.

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I hope you still enjoying it

Please review!

HARIBO XX


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 8

Double post!

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Since the day Dr Grffins had told us that Sofia had cancer, no one was sure how to treat it. Troy had spent hours looking on the internet and on the phone talking to doctors and medical librarians across the county, with notebook five inches think of everything piece of information that he could find about Sofia's cancer. Once of the things we realised that was because Sofia's cancer was so aggressive and rare the treatments were too. After meeting with the doctors in New York and on the phones to other, me and Troy had agree to try the chemotherapy protocol used on the little girl that was still alive fifteen months after her diagnosis. The chemotherapy would be administered once a week at the outpatient clinic twenty minutes from home. We trusted Dr Griffins and Dr Thaler and appreciated how gracefully Shelly the social worker had eased herself into our life.

It was Shelley who had broken the news to me and Troy that Sofia would not be able to go to preschool . she Troy and I were sitting by Sofia's bed after her surgery " I understand that you're making arrangements for Sofia to start preschool next month" she said, she shifted in her seat " You realised don't you that chemotherapy will severely compromise Sofia's immune system. Preschool" she continued laying a hand lightly on my arm "is definitely out of the question"

I had taken the moment to let the words sink in. I knew that was true but to me Sofia was a four year old first and a cancer patient second

"You don't understand, after everything that Sofia had been through. I won't take preschool away from her. You see she wants to ride the bus go on field trips with her friends i'm willing to make that happen "

Shelly wasn't giving up "People will do amazing things to help children in Sofia's situation I am sure we can arrange a school bus, an empty one to come to your house and take her for ride, Sofia won't know the difference"

Me and Troy looked at each other than laughed and shook our heads " Shelley I'm sure you know a lot of things, but if you think an empty bus pulling up to the house is going to fool Sofia, you definitely don't know her" Troy replied.

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Sofia started Preschool the week after her fourth birthday. Once the decision was made, everyone committed themselves to making it work. Mrs Gill Sofia's teacher met with the nurses from clinic to discuss ways to minimize Sofia's exposure to germs. They also met with the parents of the other children of the class to address any concerns or questions they had. The clinic's receptionist scheduled all of Sofia's test and chemotherapy appointments as not to clash with her Monday and Tuesday classes. Sofia threw herself whole heartedly into school. As a result her treatment became simply one more thing on our calendar rather than the only thing on her mind.

Mrs Gill nudged the last of the child up the steps bus, counting them each head as they passed

"Okay mums" she called out "Looks like we are ready to roll!"

Her announcement was greeted with a chorus of shouts from twenty three three and four years old. Through the window I saw Sofia grab the back of the seat and bounced up and down a huge grin on her face. As the bus began to pull away she let go briefly and waved. At that moment I snapped my camera and snatched a memory. That to this day sits in a frame on Shelley's desk.

" Every Morning" Shelley told me " Sofia waves to me from the window of that bus and reminds me that more things are possible that I know

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HARIBO


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I am so so sorry for late update been so so busy and real life just took over, plus is finals so been busy doing that

But now I am back to carry in with the story!

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Sofia and I were in the changing room of Blackshots swimming pool, she and I were both naked having just peeled wet bathing suits off our bodies. Sofia was sitting on a wooden bench against the wall; I was kneeling on the floor in front of her. Next to her, on the bench was a scattered collection of medical paraphernalia in bubble packs. As part of her treatment Sofia a catheter has been implanted in Sofia's chest to give doctors a direct line into her bloodstream. The tubes needed to be flushed couple times a day and the site be kept clean and sterile as possible.

There was nothing Sofia loved more than swimming. She would stand at the edge of the pool, bend her knees, swing her arms back and forth and count "one, two, three Go!" and leap into Troy's waiting arms. The bigger the splash the better she'd bob to the surface then paddle to the side; get out of the pool to do it again. "Just one more daddy" she plead when we announced it time to get out of the pool.

That what me and Troy explained to Dr Thaler when we asked that Sofia should be able to swim, he had doubts without questions the public pool was a breeding ground for germs, Troy and I explained that to him that I didn't want to expose Sofia to unnecessary risk, but I wasn't willing to postpone her joy either, it seemed a greater risk to think that she might never swim again than it did to think she might get an infection from it.

Dr Thaler listened quietly and then stared out of the window finally he stood up opened the door to the supply cabinet and rummaged around. Thirty second pass he emerged with a satisfied grin and a box of waterproof patches.

" You can use these" he said, "Also, clean and flush her caps, tube, and site before and after she swims, we'll try it a few times and if she manages to it without getting an infection, you can continue indefinitely with my blessing"

Now I pulled the rubber gloves over hands with a loud snap while I filled two syringes, one with heparin and one with saline, Sofia tore open the four packages of alcohol wipes and set them carefully on the bench, then she lifted the tubes of the Broviac, keeping her hands clear of the ends. I rubbed the end cap with alcohol and reach for the first syringe. Raising it above my head in order it in the light then just as I depressed the plunger to expel the excess air, the door opened.

A woman in a blue-flowered bathing suit stood there. Her eyes widened and moved slowly, from the sight of the gauze pads and vials on the beach, to Sofia and her Broviac, to the syringe in my hand. Without a word she shut the door, we saw her pink flip flops take a step back and pause. Then they turned and slapped across the wet floor until they reached the door. I heard it open and shut, I turned to Sofia.

She was grinning mischievously

"Mommy that lady was really surprised!, do you think it's because she never Saw naked people before?"

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UNTIL NEXT TIME

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HARIBO X


	9. Chapter 9

Back to regular updates!

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I wrote one line in my journal

"A Dark Day"

The tumour was back. The doctor had seen it on a routine+ x-ray. Despite eight weeks of chemotherapy, the cells from the original mass had migrated and multiplied into a dark spot on Sofia's left lung. The scar from her surgery had barley healed.

Troy and I were faced with an agonized decision. If we did nothing Sofia might be dead before Christmas. We weren't ready, we scheduled a second surgery to remove the tumour, and made plans for Sofia to go undergo an autologous bone marrow transplant. Although there were other experimental therapies available, but most of them require Sofia to spend whatever time she had left in a hospital. We weren't willing to subject her to that. We decided that the transplant offered a balance between risk and hope that we could live with, and we also decided that if Sofia relapsed again we would let her go.

The release forms Troy and I had to sign stated the paradox perfectly : The Treatment that Sofia was about to undergo could not expected to cure her, and it might kill her Even if by some miracle that she were to live into adolescence, she'd be able to enter puberty without any medical intervention and she would never bear children.

One doctor we consulted had summed it up inn a sentence " If I you, I'd pray she stays healthy enough for these things to be a problem"

The day before her surgery Sofia, Troy, Michael and I took a walk in the park , I wasn't thinking about it. It was a sweater-weather kind of day: warm afternoon sun, crisp autumn front of me Michael and Sofia were running away from Troy laughing their heads off and squealed even louder when Troy caught up with them and tickled them to the floor.

I inhaled the moment, savouring everything it in, there were nothing to do, or say, or wish for.I was lucky to be alive, and luckier that Sofia was. I held my breath as long as I could hoping that some of the joy from this moment might lodge in my lungs today so it could drift lightly and unexpectedly into the dark moments I knew that was ahead.

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Until Tomorrow i know is short but next one longer!

PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!

HARIBO XX


	10. Chapter 10

Hope you are enjoying this still

Please review

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A week after Sofia's second surgery, we returned home, Both Sofia and Michael performed two somersaults in middle of the living room floor to celebrate. Too surprise to stop Sofia Me and Troy closed ours eyes and winced.

Now three days later we both felt a million miles away from doctors, treatments, and cancer. Troy and I were splayed like rag dolls on one of the double beds, grateful for the air conditioning Our luagge was tumbled pile of leather and nylon on the floor. Michael and Sofia had wriggled their bodies through the a split in the curtain and pressed their noses against the fourteenth floor window.

"Look Mikey!" Sofia screamed "I can see Cinderella castle!, I hope she's home!"

"Of course she's not home Fia : she is not real" Michael explained, somewhat impatiently

"She is too Mikey, You'll see" Sofia sniffed

"Come on Mum and Daddy we can't wait!"

Troy and I looked at each other and laughed. The alarm clock had buzzed us awake at four am in Albuquerque. A limousine had picked us up half an hour later and dropped us off at the airport before 5:30am, Michael and Sofia had slept through the flight to Orlando. Unpon arriving Orlando airport a friendly couple had met us , walked us to our rental car, and pinned a badge on Sofia that identified her as a Make-a-wish kid. We had checked in to the hotel just before eleven.

Sofia's relapse had officially qualified her for an all-expense-paid trip to Walt Disney world. The vacation was an welcome and generous respite, but ant relief we felt was temporay, Sofia;s bone marrow had already been scheduled for the following week.

Troy and I hauled our bodies into standing position

"Yippeee!" Michael and Sofia cried.

We rode the monorail to the Magic Kingdom. Cinderella Castle was to be our frist stop of course. As we crossed the moat, walked beneath the entrance and stepped onto the shade tile of the mosaic reception hall, I felt drawn into the happy ever after. My mind knew it wasn't real, but my heart was grateful, I could hear the hum of excited voices coming from the banquet hall that was down the end. Most of the people around us headed there, including Troy, who wanted to see if we could get a table without reservation.

Michael and Sofia hung back, starting transfixed at the mosaic pictures. Suddenly Sofia froze. A slight figure in a long blue gown with a twist of golden hair looped behind a jewelled tiara had stepped quietly in front of her, Michael's jaw dropped

"Cinderella" he whispered

Cinderella kneeled in front of Sofia

"Hello my name is Cinderella" she said softly " What's your name?"

Sofia hadn't moved. Her eyes travelled from the crown on Cinderella's head, over her smiling face, to the clear glasslike slipper just visible beneath the hem.

"My name is Sofia" she said finally " And that's my brother Mikey" she added pointing to him, she leaned toward Cinderella, and in a loud whisper said "He didn't know you were real but I did"

Michael squirmed and rolled his eyes. Cinderella gave him a wink

"That's ok Mikey" Cinderella said. He smiled bashfully clearly relieved.

Cinderella turned her attention to Sofia

"How are you Sofia?" she asked

" I just had Surgery" Sofia said quietly " Do you want to see my scar?"

I suspected Cinderella had seen Sofia's Make a Wish button

" Okay"

Sofia slowly raised her dress Cinderella looked at Sofia's scar and then, without a word opened her arms Sofia threw herself into Cinderella's embrace. As she held Sofia the young woman looked at me over Sofia's shoulder, her eyes full of tears.

Sofia loosened her grip and gave her a kiss

Cinderella stood up, dabbed a finger under her mascaraed lases and straighten her skirt. Michael stepped forward and extended his hand.

" It's nice to meet you Cinderella" he said

" It's nice to meet you Mikey" Cinderella said shaking his hand.

Sofia skipped breathlessly around them.

" You see Mikey! I told you she was real!" she cried

" Yup Fia" he said winking at Cinderella "you were right"

As the three of us headed to the banquet hall. I was grinning from ear to ear, It didn't matter that Cinderella was a girl from Iowa in a beautiful costume. The joy we experience in the meeting was real, and that was magic enough for me.

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Until next time

PLEASE REVIEW!

HARIBO X


	11. Chapter 11

A light snow was falling outside. Just in time for Christmas day. A tiny artificial hung with miniature ornament's and lights, sat in one corner of the hospital

It seemed that Bethlem's Grace had made it to out neck of the woods: Sofia was still alive

For the past three weeks Sofia and I had been in isolation from germs and the world in a ten-by-twelve-foot room, Although this hospital was more than an hour and half drive from our house, it was the only one within in our area with the facility to perform bone marrow transplant that had agreed to let me with Sofia twenty four hours a day. Insisting that I be allowed to stay with her was one of the best decisions Troy and I ever made.

For ten, doctors had pumped Sofia's body full of chemotherapy drugs, in attempt to destroy any cancer cells that remained the bags of chemicals were covered with fluorescent orange warning stickers After hanging them on Sofia's IV pole the nurses checked and doubled checked their clipboards before starting the drip.

As soon as one bag was empty, another was hung in place, Almost immedelity, Sofia's body had begun to deteriorate and I began to believe that Troy and I had made the gravest mistake of our lives, The chemicals made Sofia sick to her stomach and burned her mouth, throat, her hair fell out in handfuls: only few wisps clung to her bald head. Every inch of her skin was covered in raw bumpy rash, beneath the rash, her flesh turned the colour of pollen.

During the first week of treatment I prayed everyday that things wouldn't get worst that Sofia's body could rest from the exhaustion and pain.

When the doctors reminded me that that Sofia's white blood cell count would have to drop to almost zero for the chemotherapy could be stopped, and the closer she got to that goal, the sicker she would become, I began to pray for her to be sick, sick enough for the madness to stop.

Finally, when the light had almost faded from her eyes the chemotherapy bags were taken down, and bags of her own bone marrow, harvested earlier were pumped through the Broviac vein.

For days Sofia lay in bed still as death barely able to sip water from a straw, the nurses drew blood from her every four hours to make sure her blood count was rising. Each time, I held my breath, slowly Sofia's cells began to regenerate, Troy and me prayed long and hard enough for Sofia that she would live till Christmas and that her counts would high enough for visitors. The numbers climbed steadily for a week then three days before Christmas they dropped and refused to move. On Christmas eve the nurse took an extra unscheduled sample of Sofia's blood, hooping for the best, her hunch paid off Sofia's counts were high enough for visitors on Christmas Day.

Sofia was now kneeling on her bed in the front of the dollhouse she had received from Santa, she was wearing a lace headband round her head and a new ivory statin dress, she looked like a Princess. Christmas eve night Troy came and sat with Sofia while I run out to get some last min Christmas gifts, it was the first time I stepped outside the hospital in three weeks. As I stood in a store holding the dress, a woman browsing through the boys trousers noticed

"Are you thinking of buying that dress?" she asked

"Well yes, but it's pretty expensive" I said sheepishly

The woman smiled "I have three boys, BUY THAT DRESS!"

Now looking at Sofia, I was glad I had, it was the first time she had worn anything besides the hospital gown. She even buzzed the nurse to come and have look, compared to how she looked couple days before, she looked positively radiant. Although her face and arms were bloated from having so much fluids passing through her and her eyes looked dull and sleepy, she was sitting up

Troy, Michael and I grinned at each other from behind our paper mask. The three of us were also wearing plastic shower caps, long sleeved hospital gowns, rubber gloves. The mask constantly slipped off our noses, no matter how hard we tied them behind our heads, Sofia called the outfits "space suits" Everyone expect her had to wear one. Her immune system was still compromised that the slight infection could kill her.

Troy was hopping forward and backwards tipping his camera, snapping pictures "I can't wait to show everyone how great she looks"

"Hey you two" I said to Michael and Sofia "Daddy and I have some news to share with you"

The two of them looked up and Troy reached for my hand and squeezed it.

"Our family going to have a new baby"

"When?" Michael and Sofia cried in Unison

"In July" Troy said

Michael and Sara squealed and hugged each other

While Troy continued to take more pictures. I let my eyes and heart be filled with all the Joy in the room. What we were sharing could never been captured on the surface of a photograph

This Joy didn't needed to be document: it already had a permanent home in our hearts

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Until Next time

Haribo


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